2009. okt. 21.
let's just get over it.
2009. okt. 21. 11:44, a bejegyzést kapjamarja írta
| még nincsenek kommentek
Címkék: happyness, study, surprise
I just got home from the university after writing my first test this year. I think I'll pass it. The sun is shining, I'm at home and finally I don't have to be afraid of this creepy test.
I think I'll relax a bit, because yesterday I got so tired I've never been before I think... When I met cc in front of the library, after a few minutes he asked me if I'm okay or not....yeah, my behavior was a bit strange, I know but hopefully after a few hours chilling I'll be fine again. :).
Have a nice day, everyone.
2009. okt. 20.
1 day to go.
2009. okt. 20. 15:50, a bejegyzést kapjamarja írta
| még nincsenek kommentek
Címkék: study, surprise, thinking
This afternoon I made a decision I had doubts about..first.
I've called my dad after a very long time. I didn't know what to expect, because our last phone-conversation was not the happiest at all.
We chatted a couple of minutes about him, about me, about life. I don't know if this is the beginning of rebuilding of our relationship, but anyway it was a good step forward to it.
Tomorrow I'll write a test, and I'm so nervous about it. I'm not afraid of the questions, but of the fact that I have to prove my knowledge again....silly thing, but that's what I feel.
Maybe I should eat something and go to the library to revise the things I have to know for tomorrow's test.
After tea, I'll meet cc and have a tea with him... I'm so proud of him these days ;).
so... eat. drink. go.
2009. okt. 19.
well.
2009. okt. 19. 22:57, a bejegyzést kapjamarja írta
| még nincsenek kommentek
Címkék: th, thinking
an old comment from my old blog has turned to a new post on my new blog...human being is a weird creature.
"Ilyen Szóval ilyen Veled összeveszve lenni. Furcsa. Kié a szőkeséged, nem tudom. De az egész ennyit nem ér. Nyilván más zavar bennem, nem ez. Ha más, mondd el, csupa vaj a fülem mögött. Mert ennyire apró dolog nem zavarhat. Ha mégis, az azt jelenti, hogy ez volt az utolsó csepp a pohárban. De akkor mik voltak az előzőek? Ha viszont tényleg voltak előzőek, miért hallgattál? Miért nem mondtad őket, hogy javuljak? Mert részemről feléd nincsenek cseppek, úgy imádlak, ahogy vagy. Most elveszett egy szeletem? sAJNÁLOM."
deep thoughts in the library vol.1
2009. okt. 19. 20:16, a bejegyzést kapjamarja írta
| még nincsenek kommentek
Címkék: library, nothing, study, thinking
20.17
Major dilemma; should I go outside and smoke in the cold, or stay in the warm reading-room, where getting my usual dose of nicotine is permitted.(what a surprise).
I think I'll stay inside now and let my thoughts out of my little shock-head...not in connection with law and studying.
It's all so quiet here. ssss.ssss. a guy is sleeping next to me on the desk, holding an anatomy-book in his hand. He must be a genius.
I'm not sleepy. Just had a cup of home-made coffee with sugar and milk...yes, sugar. I've just realized, that I didn't drink anything except this cup of coffee today. Maybe I should have some more liquid stuff before i fain.
It was just another ordinary day. School, office, library. No personal touch with anyone (or....if my goldfish count, than yes...I've cleaned their water this morning finally.)
I don't want to whine, it's just so extraordinary after spending my whole summer around people. Sometimes I have the feeling to call somebody and explain the perfect nothing, what happened to me...but at the last moment i rethink it and put my phone back to my pocket. Maybe because I wouldn't like to disturb anybody.
This is the status which has been mentioned by one od my teachers at high-school; you're lonely.even though you're surrounded by people. Yeah. That's the bloody truth.
I don't know where have i lost the old myself. I don't really have problems with the new one, but there are some things and someones I really miss.
Am I a lonely wolf these days? - Yes.
Do I want to change on it? - Don't know....and I think this is one of the biggest questions in my life now.
Sometimes I lose my faith in myself, and the other day I feel I'm more self-confident than ever. Maybe I'm unsure....don't know. I also have no idea about when will be my problem (let's call this a problem) solved...anyway I'm not in a rush. I'm just not sure that my family and my friends will tolerate my strange attitude...maybe this will be also an exam for them, not just for me.
I've downloaded Hotel Rwanda at the weekend but i didn't understand it because of the accent of the actors...so maybe I'll watch it in Hungarian, even though it's totally against my principles.
But now the time has come to destroy my lung with a cigarette outside in the cold, rainy street.
Good night.
